she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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