I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's get the cat blown out
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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