You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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