3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
