the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
