dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize