3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
