Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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