Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
