i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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