I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
