i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
