I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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