thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
