I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
