I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How does one acquire holy water?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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