we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize