im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
