After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize