it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
