Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
