508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
