so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize