one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
