Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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