This girl is more easily done than said...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
