Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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