so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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