well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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