i just google imaged poop.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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