I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cut my penus on the lid.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i've created a new STD.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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