New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
