ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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