So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
