Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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