i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize