unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We don't watch enough power rangers
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm always down for nudity.
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