Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your cock deserves a montage
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
