my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
