I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
