im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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