You're a womanizer and a bitch.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
