i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
