Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
