awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
