oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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