We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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