I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
