Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize