On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
