So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
