Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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