Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Drake has all the answers
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
