I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
