i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
