No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
