Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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