there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
