WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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