She's JV to your varsity
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
