Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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