i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
