your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
